This is a guest post by Alan Weiss
I love sports cars. For me, at least, a true sports car has a manual shift. But first gear can be tricky with a manual transmission. You have to engage the clutch as well as simultaneously provide gas. Not enough clutch and you stall. Too much gas and the car will blast off like a rocket.
On steep hills, many drivers have to engage the parking brake to stop the car from rolling backward while they try to get it into first gear. And, if you make a mistake and try to start driving from, say, third gear, you’ll get a sluggish start or no start at all. That’s not good when you’re trying to accelerate up a hill or merge with oncoming traffic.
Applying this analogy to how our personal level of self-esteem enables us to find momentum in life illustrates how it ultimately leads to our success or failure. Getting to first gear is akin to settling into our own sense of worth and dignity. It’s the baseline upon which we build what’s to come. We’re neither trying to inflate or deny it. Our self-worth is simply inherent, and our self-esteem, as a result, provides stability regardless of our interactions with other people or the effects of changing environments.
Once we master getting into first gear, the remaining gears become easier to operate and attain. Our progress to the other higher gears happens in tandem with our ability to reach greater speed, greater power when needed, and more comfort. There are no esteem cops who will pull you over for speeding.
Conversely, if we begin with self-doubts and don’t try to understand and be proud of our natural and developed confidence and efficacy, we’ll see ourselves as inferior to others. Obstacles will be insurmountable, we won’t trust our own judgment, and the self-doubt only worsens.
Esteem travels with you
By mastering first gear and your own esteem you’ll become a natural leader. You’ll earn your influence through fairness and trust. You won’t need to dominate anyone to earn legitimacy or worthiness. Your excellent interpersonal skills will make people want to follow your lead. The finest leaders I’ve observed have constant, high esteem and have earned their authority as opposed to demanding it through hierarchy, power plays, threats, or deceptions.
Your own first gear equates to positive thinking and confidence in your ability to do whatever is needed in any given moment — whether on a steep hill, in traffic, when the road becomes curvy, or when you pass on a straight-away.
Here is where the road will lead when you maintain a high level of self-worth:
1. Heightened trust in your judgment.
High self-esteem greatly strengthens your faith in your judgment. And confidence in your judgment enables you to make careful, successful decisions and craft effective solutions.
2. Open to questions and challenges.
When you exemplify high esteem you’re secure enough to allow questions or welcome challenges to your ideas. You’re willing to sincerely listen to opposing viewpoints, and aren’t ashamed when you decide to change your mind.
3. Honest about both failures and accomplishments.
Your self-esteem isn’t enhanced by neither hiding victories and successes, nor downplaying them. High self-esteem generates honesty with no obligation or motivation to lie about either success or failure.
4. Motivated from within.
Your motivation is intrinsic and no one can interfere with it or curb your enthusiasm. You make a sincere effort in all you do and hold yourself responsible.
5. Have command over your life.
High self-esteem gives you the constant, unconsciously competent ability to remain in control. With command over your positive self-esteem and the confidence it generates, you’re able to pursue opportunities, handle threats, and face ambiguity.
Your own self-esteem will give you an ongoing sense of control whatever you come upon around each bend. It drives you personally and professionally to higher levels of performance and achievement, while at the same time remaining intact regardless of the outcomes. When you’re able to find your first gear, your high esteem isn’t situational — it’s unshakable.
About the guest post author:
Alan Weiss, PhD, is a consultant, speaker, and author. Through his consulting firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., he has worked with more than 500 leading organizations, including Merck, Hewlett-Packard, GE, Mercedes-Benz, The Federal Reserve, and the New York Times Corporation. A sought-after speaker at major conferences, he’s also published more than 60 books, many of which have been on the curricula at top business schools. His new book is The Courage of Your Talents: How to Build Your Self-esteem, Trust Your Own Judgment, and Constantly Succeed in Business (and Life) (Productivity Press, Oct. 12, 2026). Learn more at alanweiss.com.